BENSTAGE 19.1 Next Level Failure

The Corona Chronicles – Day 27

Or: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

I’m so far behind. I don’t really find the energy at the moment. I wonder why, it’s not like I’m doing much. But maybe thats the reason …

Society

I think it was last Thursday when I first heard about the “Hammer Dance” strategy. Yes, I’m late to the party but as already mentioned several times, I don’t spend too mich time with Corona, except being part of it. I just can’t listen to all of these podcast, reading every article. It doesn’t help me and it bores me to hell engaging with the same topic again and again. Anyway … Hammer & Dance. There is this very long article about it which was already translated in about 40 languages. I still want to read it, but then again see above. Anyway, from what I got so far this is basically the strategy Germany and a lot of other countries are going fo. First the hammer – lockdown for several weeks to reduce the reproduction or infection rate and then the dance, so finding your way around the disease. Maybe some smaller shutdowns here or there, but no big hammer anymore. Sounds like a plan, but also a dangerous one I guess.

In other news, I saw some footage from protests in the USA. I don’t really know what to say about this. I mean, at least some of them came clean and stated “Your health is not more important than my liberty” – well, that’s capitalism at it’s best. What counts is you and yourself, nothing else. That’s the kind if society I don’t want to live in.

Politics

Politics is discussing the u-turn from the centralised tracking app, mainly because Apple and Google said it’s a bad idea, but that’s actually something I will look into it another day.

Company

Last Thursday was a day of a lot of meetings again, talking a lot, listening a lot, alignment, misalignment, high hopes and some disappointments. The usual madness I’d say.

Personally

I really feel that my energy level is going down. I mean, I have been more tired in my life than I am at the moment. But tiredness is not what I mean, it’s more the feeling of there is just not more I can give today. I’m used to work long hours and mostly, I enjoy it. I love my work and I hardly lack the motivation to do it. I don’t lack the motivation at the moment, but I can’t go on, straight for hours as I used to. I wonder if the lockdown is a reason for that or if there is something else. I don’t like it, as I have enough to do (also outside of work, there would be gazillion things I could do), I just don’t have the time and nerve to be unproductive or at least not as productive as I like to be. When I started this I said that my motivation here is to a) get back to regular writing a bit (works okay-ish) and observe if I can spot any effects for the reported areas. I can’t of course comment on the whole society, these are just random observations, same actually for our company but for myself I can, right? So the thing here is, it always felt as there are not so much changes for me. Sure, a bit more loneliness but besides that … but maybe that’s not true after all. Maybe, this thing drains energy very slowly, over the course of weeks so that you don’t really get it at the first time. I’m still working, still doing my duties, so I’m functioning, right? But maybe, not more than that. That should be fine during a pandemic. I don’t know, I’m a bit confused and annoyed by not having more energy right now.

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By Ben
BENSTAGE 19.1 Next Level Failure

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