BENSTAGE 19.1 Next Level Failure


Insights : Project

I need a project. Something that excites me, something I can fully emerse myself into, something that completely (besides work and stuff) occupies me and that gives me a reason to get up when I don’t have to. I have tons of ideas, problem is, nothing really feels like it deserves my time …

Insights : Boxing

I suck at boxing. Literally and metaphorically speaking. Not the punching one though (I also can’t do that though), I mean packaging. Disappointing. After all this rounds of Tetris one should thing, I would be better at it.

Insight : Low Writing Energy

I still don’t feel to have the right energy to write or actively deal with politics again. What happens around me, depresses me, saddens me. Back then, at least writing about it, was some kind of outlet. Not that something would change, if I would write about it. But maybe it would help myself to get a grip on what’s going on. To also finally find my personal way to do something. In...

Insight : Brainwork

I think most feelings I don’t handle well, would not such a big problem, if I’d take the time to analyse where these feelings are actually coming from, why I think the thinks that I do. Sometimes, I think my brain or heart or soul is lazy: taking the easiest way out, which is feeling bad, while it would just need some active thinking (brainwork you know) to get to a better place. Then...

Insight : Non-Thinking

I still have a hard time thinking about nothing for only ten minutes. Context: As part of my morning routine (which I haven’t been able to live for ages, but try again) I sit down for ten minutes, just breath and try to thing about nothing. A prestage for meditating which I totally suck at. But also just trying not to thing about anything is hard. I mostly fail. I wonder, how long it will...

Insight : Tired

At the moment, since a couple of weeks actually I have the feeling to getting tireder the more I sleep and rest – which I did quite a lot the last days and weeks. This can’t be good and it starts to piss me off …

BENSTAGE 19.1 Next Level Failure

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